Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Text Adventure Pop Songs
I'm not sure if I've invented a meme or rediscovered an old one, but pop music in the style of those old text-driven adventure games. Ok Go!
Common People by Pulp.
>LEAVE GREECE
She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge
>GET PLANE TO HEATHROW
>GET TRAIN TO LONDON
>GET TUBE TO HOLBORN
>EXIT TUBE STATION
>N
>ENTER Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design
>ENROL ON SCULPTURE COURSE
She studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College
>LOOK
>EXAMINE TALL AND POOR LOOKING MAN
That's where I caught her eye
>SAY TO MAN "MY DAD HAS LOTS OF MONEY"
She told me that her Dad was loaded
I said "In that case I'll have rum and coca-cola
>SAY TO MAN "FINE"
She said "fine"
>WAIT
>WAIT
>WAIT
And then in 30 seconds time she said
>BEGIN CLASS TOURISM
"I want to live like common people
I want to do whatever common people do
I want to sleep with common people
I want to sleep with common people like you"
>WAIT
Well what else could I do?
I said "I'll see what I can do"
>LEAVE Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design
>S
>ENTER Sainsburys
I took her to a supermarket
>SAY TO MAN "WHY ARE WE HERE?"
I don't know why
but I had to start it somewhere
so it started there
I said "pretend you've got no money"
>LAUGH
but she just laughed
>SAY TO MAN "Oh YOU'RE SO FUNNY"
and said "oh you're so funny"
I said "Yeah
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here
Are you sure
you want to live like common people
you want to see whatever common people see
you want to sleep with common people
you want to sleep with common people like me?"
>SAY TO MAN "PARDON?"
But she didn't understand
>SMILE
>GET HIS HAND
she just smiled and held my hand
>BUY A COPY OF LOOT
>EXAMINE LOOT
>ARRANGE VIEWING OF PROPERTIES ABOVE SHOPS WITH LOW WEEKLY RENT
>ARRANGE TENANCY CONTRACT FOR PROPERTY
Rent a flat above a shop
>VISIT HAIRDRESSERS
>HAVE HAIR CUT
>VISIT JOB CENTRE
>SIGN ON JOB SEEKERS ALLOWANCE
Cut your hair and get a job
>VISIT NEWSAGENTS
>BUY CIGARETTES
>SMOKE CIGARETTES
>VISIT POOL HALL
>PLAY POOL
Smoke some fags and play some pool
>DROP THE LETTER 'H' FROM SPEECH
>MIS-SPELL WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
>GO TO BED
'cos when you're laid in bed at night
>EXAMINE WALLS
watching roaches climb the wall
>CONSIDER PHONING FATHER
if you called your dad he could stop it all
yeah
You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
You'll never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
and then dance and drink and screw
because there's nothing else to do
>VISIT PUB IN A WORKING CLASS AREA
>SING
Sing along with the common people
Sing along and it might just get you through
>LAUGH
Laugh along with the common people
Laugh along although they're laughing at you
>DO SOMETHING STUPID
and the stupid things that you do
>THINK 'POOR IS COOL'
because you think that poor is cool
Like a dog lying in a corner
they will bite you and never warn you
Look out
they'll tear your insides out
>VISIT A&E DEPARTMENT
>ASK NURSE FOR TREATMENT FOR BITES
>ASK NURSE FOR RABIES SHOT
'cos everybody hates a tourist
especially one who thinks
>LAUGH AT A&E
>GO TO WORK
>LAUGH
>GO TO FLAT
>LAUGH
>GO TO POOL HALL
>LAUGH
>LEAVE HURRIEDLY
it's all such a laugh
>GO TO FLAT
>PREPARE BATH
yeah and the chip stains and grease
>WASH OFF CHIP STAINS
>WASH OFF GREASE
will come out in the bath
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
You will never understand
how it feels to live your life
with no meaning or control
and with nowhere left to go
>GIVE UP
>BE AMAZED AT HOW WONDERFUL THE WORKING CLASS PEOPLE ARE
You are amazed that they exist
and they burn so bright
whilst you can only wonder why
>BUY A COPY OF LOOT
>EXAMINE LOOT
>ARRANGE VIEWING OF DIFFERENT PROPERTIES ABOVE SHOPS WITH LOW WEEKLY RENT
>ARRANGE TENANCY CONTRACT FOR A NEW PROPERTY
Rent a flat above a shop
>VISIT HAIRDRESSERS
>HAVE ANOTHER HAIR CUT
>VISIT JOB CENTRE
>SIGN ON JOB SEEKERS
>LISTEN AS IT'S EXPLAINED THAT SIGNING ON TO JOB SEEKERS ALLOWANCE TWICE IS 'FRAUD'
>APOLOGISE
Cut your hair and get a job
>VISIT NEWSAGENTS
>BUY CIGARETTES
>SMOKE CIGARETTES
>VISIT POOL HALL
>PLAY POOL
Smoke some fags and play some pool
>DROP THE LETTER 'H' FROM SPEECH
>MIS-SPELL WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
>GO TO BED
'cos when you're laid in bed at night
>EXAMINE WALLS
watching roaches climb the wall
>CONSIDER PHONING FATHER
if you called your dad he could stop it all
yeah
You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
You'll never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
and then dance and drink and screw
'because there's nothing else to do
I want to live with common people like you.....
>STOP CLASS TOURISM
Common People by Pulp.
>LEAVE GREECE
She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge
>GET PLANE TO HEATHROW
>GET TRAIN TO LONDON
>GET TUBE TO HOLBORN
>EXIT TUBE STATION
>N
>ENTER Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design
>ENROL ON SCULPTURE COURSE
She studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College
>LOOK
>EXAMINE TALL AND POOR LOOKING MAN
That's where I caught her eye
>SAY TO MAN "MY DAD HAS LOTS OF MONEY"
She told me that her Dad was loaded
I said "In that case I'll have rum and coca-cola
>SAY TO MAN "FINE"
She said "fine"
>WAIT
>WAIT
>WAIT
And then in 30 seconds time she said
>BEGIN CLASS TOURISM
"I want to live like common people
I want to do whatever common people do
I want to sleep with common people
I want to sleep with common people like you"
>WAIT
Well what else could I do?
I said "I'll see what I can do"
>LEAVE Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design
>S
>ENTER Sainsburys
I took her to a supermarket
>SAY TO MAN "WHY ARE WE HERE?"
I don't know why
but I had to start it somewhere
so it started there
I said "pretend you've got no money"
>LAUGH
but she just laughed
>SAY TO MAN "Oh YOU'RE SO FUNNY"
and said "oh you're so funny"
I said "Yeah
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here
Are you sure
you want to live like common people
you want to see whatever common people see
you want to sleep with common people
you want to sleep with common people like me?"
>SAY TO MAN "PARDON?"
But she didn't understand
>SMILE
>GET HIS HAND
she just smiled and held my hand
>BUY A COPY OF LOOT
>EXAMINE LOOT
>ARRANGE VIEWING OF PROPERTIES ABOVE SHOPS WITH LOW WEEKLY RENT
>ARRANGE TENANCY CONTRACT FOR PROPERTY
Rent a flat above a shop
>VISIT HAIRDRESSERS
>HAVE HAIR CUT
>VISIT JOB CENTRE
>SIGN ON JOB SEEKERS ALLOWANCE
Cut your hair and get a job
>VISIT NEWSAGENTS
>BUY CIGARETTES
>SMOKE CIGARETTES
>VISIT POOL HALL
>PLAY POOL
Smoke some fags and play some pool
>DROP THE LETTER 'H' FROM SPEECH
>MIS-SPELL WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
>GO TO BED
'cos when you're laid in bed at night
>EXAMINE WALLS
watching roaches climb the wall
>CONSIDER PHONING FATHER
if you called your dad he could stop it all
yeah
You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
You'll never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
and then dance and drink and screw
because there's nothing else to do
>VISIT PUB IN A WORKING CLASS AREA
>SING
Sing along with the common people
Sing along and it might just get you through
>LAUGH
Laugh along with the common people
Laugh along although they're laughing at you
>DO SOMETHING STUPID
and the stupid things that you do
>THINK 'POOR IS COOL'
because you think that poor is cool
Like a dog lying in a corner
they will bite you and never warn you
Look out
they'll tear your insides out
>VISIT A&E DEPARTMENT
>ASK NURSE FOR TREATMENT FOR BITES
>ASK NURSE FOR RABIES SHOT
'cos everybody hates a tourist
especially one who thinks
>LAUGH AT A&E
>GO TO WORK
>LAUGH
>GO TO FLAT
>LAUGH
>GO TO POOL HALL
>LAUGH
>LEAVE HURRIEDLY
it's all such a laugh
>GO TO FLAT
>PREPARE BATH
yeah and the chip stains and grease
>WASH OFF CHIP STAINS
>WASH OFF GREASE
will come out in the bath
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
>UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO MEANING OR CONTROL AND WITH NOWHERE LEFT TO GO
(fail)
You will never understand
how it feels to live your life
with no meaning or control
and with nowhere left to go
>GIVE UP
>BE AMAZED AT HOW WONDERFUL THE WORKING CLASS PEOPLE ARE
You are amazed that they exist
and they burn so bright
whilst you can only wonder why
>BUY A COPY OF LOOT
>EXAMINE LOOT
>ARRANGE VIEWING OF DIFFERENT PROPERTIES ABOVE SHOPS WITH LOW WEEKLY RENT
>ARRANGE TENANCY CONTRACT FOR A NEW PROPERTY
Rent a flat above a shop
>VISIT HAIRDRESSERS
>HAVE ANOTHER HAIR CUT
>VISIT JOB CENTRE
>SIGN ON JOB SEEKERS
>LISTEN AS IT'S EXPLAINED THAT SIGNING ON TO JOB SEEKERS ALLOWANCE TWICE IS 'FRAUD'
>APOLOGISE
Cut your hair and get a job
>VISIT NEWSAGENTS
>BUY CIGARETTES
>SMOKE CIGARETTES
>VISIT POOL HALL
>PLAY POOL
Smoke some fags and play some pool
>DROP THE LETTER 'H' FROM SPEECH
>MIS-SPELL WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
>GO TO BED
'cos when you're laid in bed at night
>EXAMINE WALLS
watching roaches climb the wall
>CONSIDER PHONING FATHER
if you called your dad he could stop it all
yeah
You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
You'll never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
and then dance and drink and screw
'because there's nothing else to do
I want to live with common people like you.....
>STOP CLASS TOURISM
Labels: Britpop, humour, music, TextAdventurePopSongs
Friday, September 04, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
And in the future they will always ask, "where were you when you heard Michael Jackson died?" and I'll admit that I was in the university paper-shop, looking for a paper. I saw all the pictures on the covers of the newspapers, about what happened. I was shocked. Appalled. That the newspapers would, to a rag, take such a negative view of a singer that just tried to shine a little light, who just wanted to give people a glimpse of a different world.
That's Jarvis Cocker of course. Michael Jackson, even in 1996, was yesterdecade's news. If the Brits wanted to give Michael Jackson a made-up award because they wanted him to perform there, fine. He'd done an album that was nothing special but he wanted to perform and, who cares, why not? But even in a business not known for good taste, to have loads of children and people in religious costume look to him like he was some sort of messiah, without any sense of irony, that was when he was finished, and the following thirteen years have been little more than a long death rattle. What was especially amusing was that the next day all the newspapers had a go at Jarvis as a child-trampling thug. The next day they got with the program as they realised that they had misjudged public opinion which was firmly behind the Jarv. Jackson's last act in life was to propel Pulp to the stardom they achieved in the nineties, one of Britpop's biggest acts.
That's Jarvis Cocker of course. Michael Jackson, even in 1996, was yesterdecade's news. If the Brits wanted to give Michael Jackson a made-up award because they wanted him to perform there, fine. He'd done an album that was nothing special but he wanted to perform and, who cares, why not? But even in a business not known for good taste, to have loads of children and people in religious costume look to him like he was some sort of messiah, without any sense of irony, that was when he was finished, and the following thirteen years have been little more than a long death rattle. What was especially amusing was that the next day all the newspapers had a go at Jarvis as a child-trampling thug. The next day they got with the program as they realised that they had misjudged public opinion which was firmly behind the Jarv. Jackson's last act in life was to propel Pulp to the stardom they achieved in the nineties, one of Britpop's biggest acts.
Labels: Britpop, music, paedophiles, YouTube
Sunday, May 31, 2009
YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
Go here and download The Harvey Girls's free EP An Uncloudy Day. LISTEN. You won't regret it as it's between 4 and 4.07 times better than whatever crap you were listening to. [via Fluxblog]
READ. Sleeping with the NME: how the British music press picked up a dose of the crap. The public get the music press that no public could deserve. Though in their defence the gig was up in the late-nineties when the Britpop boom ended, tipping the control away from a music press that could chose who to write about to the PR companies who could now say whether the press could have access to their rosters or not depending on what they wrote. [via Warren Ellis]
READ. Sleeping with the NME: how the British music press picked up a dose of the crap. The public get the music press that no public could deserve. Though in their defence the gig was up in the late-nineties when the Britpop boom ended, tipping the control away from a music press that could chose who to write about to the PR companies who could now say whether the press could have access to their rosters or not depending on what they wrote. [via Warren Ellis]
Labels: Britpop, journalists, music
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Music Blah Flowers
Haven't done one of these for a while...
Boredoms- 77 BOA DRUM Part One, Part Two, Part Three.
Boredoms- 77 BOA DRUM Part One, Part Two, Part Three.
Labels: Britpop, music, YouTube
Monday, July 02, 2007
Music Blah Flowers - What I Have The Recently Added on my iPod Edition.
Bought this when it first came out, came across the single the other day, on it goes!
It's actually 'Are You Experienced?' but all you get on YouTube is guitarists showing you their licks, so I'll make do with the Battlestar Galactica song. Heh heh...
Have I mentioned I'm having a bit of a Boo Radleys thing this year? Personally I blame Phonogram but whilst rumaging in an Oxfam shop near Angel tube station I found a copy of Kingsize which then encouraged me to load Martin Carr's anti-New Labour solo album Advertisements For Myself onto the Pod and buy a copy of Giant Steps which has the above track 'Lazarus' and, it seems, Sice with hair!
The weird thing is, The Bad Seeds bore the pants off me. I do remember that several times I did try to get into their music and found the sound of paint drying a more interesting aural experience, it was so tedious that I can't actually recall which albums I tried but Grinderman is their first project that I enjoy. Warren Ellis gets annoyed when he's mistaken for Warren Ellis though. As well he might.
Labels: Britpop, comics, music, YouTube
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Have I said how much I've enjoyed this series here?
It's a comic about love, magic and Britpop. I'm not sure how this is selling any copies outside of the UK but maybe they just like the purrty pitchers or something. To someone like me who was as into Britpop as much as someone who never left their bedroom AND whose bedroom was in the wrong city (the only downside to Birmingham at the time was that the local Britpop band were cocking Ocean Colour Scene, talentless no-marks who were never shot through the lungs because no-one wanted to waste that many bullets) could be, this is equal parts bittersweet, a walk down memory lane and embarrassing.
It's a comic about love, magic and Britpop. I'm not sure how this is selling any copies outside of the UK but maybe they just like the purrty pitchers or something. To someone like me who was as into Britpop as much as someone who never left their bedroom AND whose bedroom was in the wrong city (the only downside to Birmingham at the time was that the local Britpop band were cocking Ocean Colour Scene, talentless no-marks who were never shot through the lungs because no-one wanted to waste that many bullets) could be, this is equal parts bittersweet, a walk down memory lane and embarrassing.
Labels: Britpop, comics, music, personal history
Saturday, August 12, 2006
