Monday, February 02, 2009

My Life in the Snowdrift of Ghosts

So I went to work today. This is partly due to the fact that I didn't realise exactly how much snow had been snowed during the night until I was committed to the whole 'going to work' thing and it was too late to turn around. In previous years, even if there's a good amount of snow making each step an adventure with Mr Compound Fracture by the time we reach the heat sink that is Inner London we've normally reached gondolas and water-wings time. But not today, I emerged with the fear of a white planet, and it was only as I stood on the New Kent Road that I found out all Inner London's buses weren't being allowed out to play today. However, as I was resigning myself on a dispiriting squelch to work a very nice van driver stopped, unprompted and offered me a lift, demanding no payment except his quiet satisfaction at a job well done. Noble knight of the road, I salute thee!

Of course, being the person at our branch that has to travel the furthest to work it was fitting that I was there as all the other members of staff called to say they couldn't make it in. Well, to be fair, it was completely understandable, one had two young children that weren't now going to school and had no bus for her journey to work, one had no overland trains and no two buses to get to work and the last would have come in but was only working for half the day anyway. She was owed time back and I suggested she take it. After finding someone further up the managerial structure than I who had come into work I closed the building I'd barely opened and squelched off to another library to work the day.

With just the three biggest libraries in the Borough open today we had an all hands to the pumps atmosphere, as most of the staff weren't as stupid committed as us there were five members of staff where normally there would be a dozen at least. Needs simplify in this situation, as we are all thinking "Hey, I struggled to get to work today through adverse weather conditions, when are you going to reward that dedication by closing the library and letting me go home?" I also expected the bad weather would drive all the vagrants into our halls to piss on our chairs but hey, no more so than any other day of the year.

Watching TfL anxiously to see if the 'severe delays' on my one route home turned to 'minor delays' or 'hah hah not a fucking chance, why not look in the Yellow Pages for a doss house in which to spend the night?'we were let out at 2:00, at which point the snow had a strange dagger-like texture which ripped at the skin and clogged the eyes making it difficult to see where I was going. But getting home wasn't too traumatic and I'm now burning off the North Sea reserves in an attempt to stay warm. I have a tin of soup for dinner this evening.

Tomorrow? Well, officially I was told I should come to work, unofficially I was told I should come to work, which is the last time I speak to him. Madly I was told "Geroff! I've lost my knees! Garglegarglegargle pomegranates!" and that's advice I intend to always keep close to my heart. Our council has a rather interesting approach to IT, having an intranet which all staff can access but which staff who actually deal with the public, like us, (as opposed to a department like Communications who, as far as I have been able to deduce, don't communicate with the public but exist only to inhibit communication between different council departments and between those departments and the public, this is no joke, they are soulless packets of yak excreta in suits) can't access without going to work. So, when I got to work I saw a posting on the intranet advising that staff who really didn't need to, shouldn't travel in to work today. Which leads me to a fun conversation I'm going to have with my staff next week, how do they suggest they make up the time they didn't work today?

At the moment I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. It's been snowing fairly constantly, at varying consistencies, all day, so there's not been much chance for snow to start thawing, so we shouldn't have extra-slippery pavements tomorrow. But it has been snowing all day, and probably will all night and in to tomorrow. If my tube line decides to give in to the weather then I can't get to work, the overland trains are down and the buses aren't running, bendy-buses can cause more damage as they skid uncontrollably round corners, who knew? But if the tube is still running, do I go into work tomorrow?

Meanwhile, a tube driver explains just why the London Underground always breaks down on the one day of snow each year.

In other news, I went to the Oxford Street branch of Zavvi last week, in order to gloat at how, having changed their name from the fairly sensible 'Virgin Megastore', they were now aground on the shoals of bankruptcy ((c) Eric Idle). Looking for bargains in the sale I reached for Labradford but it was only when I got home that I realised that I'd picked up La Casa Azul. So, with nothing better to do I decided to have a listen today, to decide how revolting it was before seeing if Zavvi are currently doing swapsies on the stuff they are trying to unload. But, much to my surprise, I quite liked it and it's now on my iPod. I have no idea what the songs are about but it sounds like an upbeat bleepy nonsense of a kind that doesn't normally appeal, sort of early Beach Boys steal a bunch of synths and video games and make Spanish pop while Brian eats all the cake. So that saves me a trip.

Mmmm, soup.

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