Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Seriously, Who Thought Making A New Star Trek Movie Would be A Good Idea?

This is why drugs are bad, especially in the creative process.

Now, I should make it clear I did intend to go see Star Trek: Nemesis in the cinema. I based this purely on a very effective poster and only my shitty time-management skills stopped me. This turned out to be lucky as when I finally got round to watch it it was on DVD and for free, so I didn't feel the need afterwards to go and pummel the undeserving cinema staff until I got my money refunded.

After watching the trailer for Star Trek By The Bell (a.k.a. Sarek Valley High, That's so Romulan, erm... The Naughtiest Girl in the Starfleet, give me a second and I'll think of some more...) I'm trying to work out how much Paramount would have to pay me so I didn't feel cheated after watching it.

Luckily we'll mostly be spared over here as I doubt the great British public will be much interested in this pile of toss. Sure, everyone knows who James T. Kirk is in the same way that they know who the Daleks are, but just because Doctor Who made a comeback don't expect the same for Star Trek, I'm not even totally sure as to whether Enterprise was ever shown right to the end on terrestrial TV. I doubt the prospect of young Kirk will be much of a pull for non-Star Trek fans and possibly those of us who like to look down our noses at enthusiasts who actually speak Klingon or who think the Federation is a nice place to live (oh don't get me fucking started sunshine...).

So that leaves the fans, who are about to be given a film which the creator is taking pains to say he isn't writing for them, he doesn't know much about the universe and he's creating a movie for people who won't be interested in it. The closest thing to a star name it has over here is Simon Pegg, again Lost isn't big news over here. And when a series set in the franchises own past doesn't even last long enough to make it to the seven year marker like the rest of it's sister shows, what insanity is it that makes people think "let's make a film on that same concept!"? This will hopefully land Star Trek into the creative hiatus the whole franchise needs until it can think of some new ideas.

(Got it, Degrassi Junior Hirogen).

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