Sunday, November 11, 2007

I Have Spent Many Hours on the Interwebs

Fuck emo kids. How dare they be so young and yet so very, very stupid and ugly? I mean, here I am, coasting into my Thirties and I've worked hard on my unattractiveness but they managed it out of the gate, the little shits! How do these kids avoid making people in their vicinity explode with disgust when they walk down the street? Given the choice between an emo kid and a suicide bomber I'd definitely break bread with the inhuman amoral badly-dressed arsehole.

Sorry, I meant the suicide bomber in that last example. Damn, these headaches make it hard to concentrate...

That does it, I'm retreating to the woods, genetically cross-breeding boars and bears, and in five years time I'll be releasing a plague of these fuckers to rip emo kids arms off. Nowhere in the world will be safe. So put your Death Cab for Cutie CDs down and start learning how to sword-fight ravenous rabid animals you fuckcocks. In one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven days you're going to need it.


That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Conservative Party...


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