Saturday, September 10, 2005
Last Night of the Proms.
19:45: Aargh! They've got bloody Titchmarsh introducing it again! Just 'cos the little bastard doesn't want to do Ground Force any more, why on earth do they get him doing stuff like this?
19:46: Fighting with BBCi to get the multiscreen option. It comes up but I can't switch to any of the other channels. Titchmarsh still talking crap.
19:47: Concert begins. Some Walton, the overture to 'Portsmouth Point' or something. Titchmarsh gone. Music a bit dull. Will try BBCi again.
19:48: Hurrah! Now works properly! Will open bottle of wine and then see what's going on in Hyde Park.
19:49: Crap, the cork has broken in the bottle. This will take a while...
19:50: OK, I'm wine'd up. Let's see what's happening at Hyde Park. Some bloke singing with his eyes closed. BBCi has borked again. I may be stuck here. Send rescue ships. Rescue ships made of booze. No, send Captain Jack Harkness, that would be much better. Forget plans of escape.
19:56: Made it back to the Albert Hall for some Handel. Still send Captain Jack anyway. Apparently he's in town to be in 'A Few Good Men' with the also delectable Rob Lowe.
19:57: Fuck, they're playing 'Ombra Mai Fu (Xerxes)' with countertenor Andreas Scholl (notice how BBCi's notes have started working again). His voice is amazing. How did he get it to that pitch without a violent misuse of farming equipment as a young lad? This was supposed to be sung by a castrato and I'm not bloody surprised. Opera is mental anyway.
20:04: I wonder if this means Antony from Antony and the Johnsons is a countertenor? Maybe not quite. I don't think he could reach quite the same pitch.
20:09: Ooh, it's Terry Wogan at Hyde Park. And it's being heckled! Big band action in Belfast, being conducted by a John Adams impersonator. Now BBC2 have got Brian May on! Quick, to Swansea! Gah, it's 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. Back to Hyde Park. Some 'Saint Saens'. Always liked him since he did the theme tune to Jonathan Creek...
20:19: Hmm, Channel 4 are starting a five part series about The SS. What with everything that's been on telly in recent months, the thing about The Warlords, the series on Auschwitz, the big drama on Speer, the Hiroshima stuff, the series on what happened after the war... I feel kind of Nazi'd out right now.
20:20: Terry is still being heckled, but he seems to be thinking he's presenting Miss World. Oh hang on, he's not being heckled for himself, it's because G4 are on. What an amazing vacuum of charisma.
20:21: The Albert Hall seems to have been taken over by folk players.
20:22: Aaah, that's better, some Mozart in Belfast. It's from that advert too, British Airways I think? Oh damn, it's just finished. I was enjoying that. Now there's some Kirsty MacColl-a-like, so I fly away to Swansea. Actually, I'm not sure if that was Mozart, the BBCi 'Playing Now' thing seems to be behind the times. Might have been Delibes.
20:26: Welsh singers, singing something Welsh I would imagine. The Welsh audience seems to be wearing Twister mats to keep themselves dry. Is this the new fashion in the valleys?
20:29: Presumably the reason they've got Brian May in the Albert Hall is to stop him from going to Hyde Park with a gun, as G4 are butchering 'Bohemian Rhapsody' as though they were Jack the Ripper. Patricia Cornwell is wrong about Jack being Walter Sickert by the way. Her proof is all circumstantial, and some day I may even read her book to find out what it is. I like the way she put those full page ads in the Saturday papers a few weeks back, to insist she wasn't obsessed. Because nothing says 'I'm completely sane' than putting huge ads in national newspapers when no-one really cared in the first place. But if she's got all that money presumably she can afford a copy of 'From Hell' to read the epilogue where Alan Moore points out that you can never prove who Jack was.
20:30: Big harp in Belfast.
20:37: That's not Aled Jones in Wales is it? < Hurries off to the BBC website >
20:40: No BBC website. Why would I want to know what's going on in Swansea? If I want Proms info I obviously only want to know what's going on in the Albert Hall.
You Englicentric cretin.
20:45: Gosh, it is Aled Jones. I didn't think he sung any more. Anyway, the band is doing the theme to Thunderbirds so, moving on...
20:49: The Can-Can in Dublin. Now The Can-Can in Manchester too.
20:51: 'By the Rio Grande they dance no sarabande' apparently.
21:00: Interval time, though Glasgow seems to have Christopher Biggins bagpiping, with big drummers. It actually rocks a generously proportioned one. More wine!
...Hang on, The Proms in Glasgow? Why isn't that one of my multiscreen options?
21:16: Seconds out, round two.
21:32: Lovely bit of Korngold.
21:34: Paul Daniels (the conductor not the magician) talks to the crowd. "The English don't like music but they adore the noise it makes." Beecham said that apparently. He's making up for the guy who used to do it, Leonard Slatkin.
21:38: 'Scherzi' by Simon Bainbridge. Lots of dabs of instrumental colour, some tom-tom drums I think, tambourines shaking, xylophones picking away. Doesn't seem much of a tune really, more just lots of little events in a musical collage.
21:43: BBCi has gone tits skyward again. We're obviously at the edge of what they can manage. 'Scherzi' has finished. Not particularly impressed, stops just when it really starts to be interesting.
21:45: AAAAAArgh! Simply Red in Hyde Park! Urge to kill rising...
21:48: I take back what I said about the conductor in Belfast looking like John Adams, it's clearly Steven Spielberg. Andreas Scholl is back on stage at the Albert Hall.
21:56: Andreas has finished, and they've given him flowers. How sweet!
21:58: Here we go... 'Pomp and Circumstance March No.1' ... Suddenly the Albert Hall is awash with flags of all different nationalities. The hoorays at the front are doing that knees-bending dance that seems to be the thing for this situation.
22:01: Now everyone is humming 'Land of Hope and Glory'...
22:02: Back to the march, back to the bobbing...
22:03: And the rousing final chorus.
22:05: An encore for everyone to sing 'Land of Hope and Glory' again. "How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee" with a camera view over the rain-bedraggled hordes in Hyde Park.
22:09: "Hello Manchester!" "Hello!" "Hello Swansea" "< cheer! >" "Hello Belfast!" and so on...
22:12: It's sea-songs time. With bugle-calls from the other sites in the UK. This should be interesting, let's hope The Proms lines are running better than BBCi.
22:14: That worked okay, though a few duff notes at Hyde Park.
22:17: Some mock-crying in the crowd at the sad bit of the 'Fantasia on British Sea Songs', honestly, it's worse than The Rocky Horror Show.
22:19: Aaah, the Sailor's Hornpipe, with accompanyment with horns from the audience.
22:23: Out to the provinces. 'All Through the Night' in Wales,
22:25: 'The Skye Boat Song' from Glasgow,
22:27: 'Danny Boy' in Ireland,
22:30: 'Home, Sweet Home' brings us back to The Albert Hall.
22:32: Something about a conquering hero, and everyone in the Hall pretends they can whistle.
22:34: And be upstanding for 'Rule Britannia'.
22:39: Cheers for Sir Henry, creator of The Proms.
22:41: Now Paul Daniels is given flowers too.
22:44: 'England expects that every man will do his duty... And win The Ashes' A banner on display.
22:46: Daniels reminds us of music beyond boundaries, music of peace and reconcilliation, and we're into 'Jerusalem'.
22:49 The monarch's traditional freebie, 'God Save the Queen', then everyone crosses arms and sings 'Auld Lang Syne'.
That was fun.
19:45: Aargh! They've got bloody Titchmarsh introducing it again! Just 'cos the little bastard doesn't want to do Ground Force any more, why on earth do they get him doing stuff like this?
19:46: Fighting with BBCi to get the multiscreen option. It comes up but I can't switch to any of the other channels. Titchmarsh still talking crap.
19:47: Concert begins. Some Walton, the overture to 'Portsmouth Point' or something. Titchmarsh gone. Music a bit dull. Will try BBCi again.
19:48: Hurrah! Now works properly! Will open bottle of wine and then see what's going on in Hyde Park.
19:49: Crap, the cork has broken in the bottle. This will take a while...
19:50: OK, I'm wine'd up. Let's see what's happening at Hyde Park. Some bloke singing with his eyes closed. BBCi has borked again. I may be stuck here. Send rescue ships. Rescue ships made of booze. No, send Captain Jack Harkness, that would be much better. Forget plans of escape.
19:56: Made it back to the Albert Hall for some Handel. Still send Captain Jack anyway. Apparently he's in town to be in 'A Few Good Men' with the also delectable Rob Lowe.
19:57: Fuck, they're playing 'Ombra Mai Fu (Xerxes)' with countertenor Andreas Scholl (notice how BBCi's notes have started working again). His voice is amazing. How did he get it to that pitch without a violent misuse of farming equipment as a young lad? This was supposed to be sung by a castrato and I'm not bloody surprised. Opera is mental anyway.
20:04: I wonder if this means Antony from Antony and the Johnsons is a countertenor? Maybe not quite. I don't think he could reach quite the same pitch.
20:09: Ooh, it's Terry Wogan at Hyde Park. And it's being heckled! Big band action in Belfast, being conducted by a John Adams impersonator. Now BBC2 have got Brian May on! Quick, to Swansea! Gah, it's 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. Back to Hyde Park. Some 'Saint Saens'. Always liked him since he did the theme tune to Jonathan Creek...
20:19: Hmm, Channel 4 are starting a five part series about The SS. What with everything that's been on telly in recent months, the thing about The Warlords, the series on Auschwitz, the big drama on Speer, the Hiroshima stuff, the series on what happened after the war... I feel kind of Nazi'd out right now.
20:20: Terry is still being heckled, but he seems to be thinking he's presenting Miss World. Oh hang on, he's not being heckled for himself, it's because G4 are on. What an amazing vacuum of charisma.
20:21: The Albert Hall seems to have been taken over by folk players.
20:22: Aaah, that's better, some Mozart in Belfast. It's from that advert too, British Airways I think? Oh damn, it's just finished. I was enjoying that. Now there's some Kirsty MacColl-a-like, so I fly away to Swansea. Actually, I'm not sure if that was Mozart, the BBCi 'Playing Now' thing seems to be behind the times. Might have been Delibes.
20:26: Welsh singers, singing something Welsh I would imagine. The Welsh audience seems to be wearing Twister mats to keep themselves dry. Is this the new fashion in the valleys?
20:29: Presumably the reason they've got Brian May in the Albert Hall is to stop him from going to Hyde Park with a gun, as G4 are butchering 'Bohemian Rhapsody' as though they were Jack the Ripper. Patricia Cornwell is wrong about Jack being Walter Sickert by the way. Her proof is all circumstantial, and some day I may even read her book to find out what it is. I like the way she put those full page ads in the Saturday papers a few weeks back, to insist she wasn't obsessed. Because nothing says 'I'm completely sane' than putting huge ads in national newspapers when no-one really cared in the first place. But if she's got all that money presumably she can afford a copy of 'From Hell' to read the epilogue where Alan Moore points out that you can never prove who Jack was.
20:30: Big harp in Belfast.
20:37: That's not Aled Jones in Wales is it? < Hurries off to the BBC website >
20:40: No BBC website. Why would I want to know what's going on in Swansea? If I want Proms info I obviously only want to know what's going on in the Albert Hall.
You Englicentric cretin.
20:45: Gosh, it is Aled Jones. I didn't think he sung any more. Anyway, the band is doing the theme to Thunderbirds so, moving on...
20:49: The Can-Can in Dublin. Now The Can-Can in Manchester too.
20:51: 'By the Rio Grande they dance no sarabande' apparently.
21:00: Interval time, though Glasgow seems to have Christopher Biggins bagpiping, with big drummers. It actually rocks a generously proportioned one. More wine!
...Hang on, The Proms in Glasgow? Why isn't that one of my multiscreen options?
21:16: Seconds out, round two.
21:32: Lovely bit of Korngold.
21:34: Paul Daniels (the conductor not the magician) talks to the crowd. "The English don't like music but they adore the noise it makes." Beecham said that apparently. He's making up for the guy who used to do it, Leonard Slatkin.
21:38: 'Scherzi' by Simon Bainbridge. Lots of dabs of instrumental colour, some tom-tom drums I think, tambourines shaking, xylophones picking away. Doesn't seem much of a tune really, more just lots of little events in a musical collage.
21:43: BBCi has gone tits skyward again. We're obviously at the edge of what they can manage. 'Scherzi' has finished. Not particularly impressed, stops just when it really starts to be interesting.
21:45: AAAAAArgh! Simply Red in Hyde Park! Urge to kill rising...
21:48: I take back what I said about the conductor in Belfast looking like John Adams, it's clearly Steven Spielberg. Andreas Scholl is back on stage at the Albert Hall.
21:56: Andreas has finished, and they've given him flowers. How sweet!
21:58: Here we go... 'Pomp and Circumstance March No.1' ... Suddenly the Albert Hall is awash with flags of all different nationalities. The hoorays at the front are doing that knees-bending dance that seems to be the thing for this situation.
22:01: Now everyone is humming 'Land of Hope and Glory'...
22:02: Back to the march, back to the bobbing...
22:03: And the rousing final chorus.
22:05: An encore for everyone to sing 'Land of Hope and Glory' again. "How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee" with a camera view over the rain-bedraggled hordes in Hyde Park.
22:09: "Hello Manchester!" "Hello
22:12: It's sea-songs time. With bugle-calls from the other sites in the UK. This should be interesting, let's hope The Proms lines are running better than BBCi.
22:14: That worked okay, though a few duff notes at Hyde Park.
22:17: Some mock-crying in the crowd at the sad bit of the 'Fantasia on British Sea Songs', honestly, it's worse than The Rocky Horror Show.
22:19: Aaah, the Sailor's Hornpipe, with accompanyment with horns from the audience.
22:23: Out to the provinces. 'All Through the Night' in Wales,
22:25: 'The Skye Boat Song' from Glasgow,
22:27: 'Danny Boy' in Ireland,
22:30: 'Home, Sweet Home' brings us back to The Albert Hall.
22:32: Something about a conquering hero, and everyone in the Hall pretends they can whistle.
22:34: And be upstanding for 'Rule Britannia'.
22:39: Cheers for Sir Henry, creator of The Proms.
22:41: Now Paul Daniels is given flowers too.
22:44: 'England expects that every man will do his duty... And win The Ashes' A banner on display.
22:46: Daniels reminds us of music beyond boundaries, music of peace and reconcilliation, and we're into 'Jerusalem'.
22:49 The monarch's traditional freebie, 'God Save the Queen', then everyone crosses arms and sings 'Auld Lang Syne'.
That was fun.
