Saturday, July 26, 2003

Rather bored and restless this evening, unable to settle on anything. Ended up watching Love Again on BBC2. A play about Philip Larkin. I started to identify with Larkin, what with the career and my somewhat hermetic withdrawn existence. And I've got a fear that I'll end up in twenty or thirty years trapped in one of those peculiar, emotional relationships with whichever of my parents outlives the other, as he was with his mother. At one point he says "I'm so trapped in this life... In me" which is essentially my dilemma. I want to change the way I live my life, but I make no real effort to do so.
'This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.' PL.

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