Monday, May 19, 2003

I was just thinking, six or seven years ago I would have been extremely opposed to doing something like the NLP system. Indeed, I disliked a lot of things about me and my life but wouldn't want to change them. It was half my nature and half that I didn't want to 'miss the comfort in being sad'. The great anasthesia of depression that, once settled, barricades you away from having to deal with the rest of the world. Even now I look at psychotherapy askance, in much the same way as tribesmen were supposed to be worried that cameras would steal their soul (though I heard that was a myth I think). I'm not honestly sure why, my early twenties self was supposed to be in to soul searching. I suppose the truth was, if I did it in my own haphazard way I could ignore the bits of myself that I didn't really want to face. Taking on some sort of system would mean eventually confronting these depths.

The other fundamental truth was that I was extremely lazy.

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