Monday, April 14, 2003

So the whole 'I'm using the term 'gay' to refer to something bad, if you don't like that you're oppressing my freedom of speech!' argument has come up again in Barbelith. I was going to post some form of what follows on there but then thought it was neither thought through enough or indeed relevent enough to the discussion so decided to give it a miss.

I have real problems with the word 'gay'. When I was coming out I was being shown around various collective terms by semiotic estate agents and disliked 'gay' for it's cosy, camp, Stonewall, luvvie associations. I much prefered, and still do, the in-your-face big-boots no-knickers confrontationalism of 'queer', everything your parents didn't like about your sexuality in a nice big package. Gay became everything I didn't like about homosexuals of any sex.

And then 'gay' became a term of abuse. Not being down with 'der kids' I don't know exactly when. I have vague rememberences that it may have been around as long ago as when I was at school, though if I'm correct that was only primary school so about twenty years. However, it wasn't really a popular term at that time and seems to have had a more recent renaissance.

It seems to have become completely detached from it's meaning of homosexual, quite fitting in a way as of course it was stolen from it's meaning of jolly or carefree. When it started turning up on Barbelith and it's use was challenged the poster denied any realisation that 'gay' was a term that was used mainly to describe the sexuality of homosexuals.

I've always been keen on reclaiming, believing in the power of language as I do I can't see many better weapons than denying our enemies the ability to engage intellectually with us in a hurtful manner. But I find I have real difficulties with that when it comes to 'gay'. Because I really don't like the word! Because it feels like 'they' have reclaimed one of our words just as we're reclaiming theirs. 'They' have metaphorically taken the word, then gone to kids and said "hey, are you looking for a cool new way to express your disgust with something?" then handed them the term with it's cultural baggage. The person may not be aware of it's history but when they say it it's sending up flares to everyone who is aware, saying homosexuality is bad. They've been given a gun but are playing with it thinking it's a toy and not realising it's real and shooting bullets at people.

But I really can't be enthusiastic about reclaiming this one...

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